I've Got A Big Announcement...

I quit my job!

In fact, this coming Sunday is my last day working at the bank. I am ecstatic. I’ll be joining the team at Sawmill Design, where we specialize in custom web development and design. We’re a small team in number but we crank out some serious work. I’d love it if you’d check us out.

Enough shameless plugs for now, back to the blog post.

The past 2+ years have been tough and the thought of all of that junk coming to a close so soon is a bit hard to handle. I’m experiencing many emotions, even as I write this post. 

I’m eager and nervous. Excited and scared. Melancholy and hopeful. It’s proving harder to navigate than I had initially expected. When you envision gaining the opportunity to work for a friend while doing something you’ve always wanted to do, the emotions you expect are all positive. Nothing about it seems daunting.

When you actually receive that offer, however, reality kicks in. What if I screw up? What if I’m not as good at this as I had hoped? What if this doesn’t work out and I’m back to square one? The doubt can be ever-present.

This is what I’m struggling with in light of a great turn of events. God has certainly been orchestrating this whole thing, this truth is completely evident to me. Yet I still have a rash of self-doubt that I’m battling with. It’s almost as if I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t deserve this break.

This is messed up.

I am happy, I am excited, I am eager to learn. I was, however, certainly not expecting this opportunity. I think the combination of 2 years of struggle with work and purpose, combined with the speed of this career change, has allowed for some self-doubt to creep in and cloud my perspective here.

I realize some clarity here might help. 

1 month ago, I just found out that Sawmill was looking to hire a new employee with Web Design skills. I didn’t think much of it at the time because my skills in that area are amateur at best. My wife, however, in her abundance of wisdom encouraged me to investigate. She knew I was dying at the bank and that this could be a potential solution. So I asked Joel what he was looking for and to my utmost surprise he said that training a noob like me was not out of the question.

Color me intrigued.

After some thought and a few more conversations, Joel decided to give me some small side projects, just to test out the waters. What am I capable of without training? How do we work together? How do I think and process things? Am I an idiot? These are important questions to answer when vetting a potential hire. 

What surprised me the most was how quick this process went. What was supposed to be a long process wound up taking a little over 2 weeks. Before I knew it, I was offered a full-time position with the company. 

Everything about this makes me happy. It could not have gone better, honestly. It is just such a foreign feeling to me that I don’t know how to handle it. 

I guess my purpose in writing this article was this: 

1) To announce the news
2) To show that God is good, continually
3) To communicate that emotions are tricky, despite the truth of point 2
4) To let you know that I will be much more involved here now that my work will allow it
5) To shamelessly plug my new employer, Sawmill Design. Check us out!

Finally, I want to give a big shout out to my family and friends who have been with me every day for the past few years. Your encouragement, prayer, and presence have been felt in ways that you don’t know. Thank you for supporting me, setting me straight, and loving me, even when it wasn’t easy. 

Life, DesignCam Brennan