"The eternal, independent, and self-existent Being; the Being whose purposes and actions spring from himself, without foreign motive or influence; he who is absolute in dominion; the most pure, the most simple, the most spiritual of all essences; infinitely perfect; and eternally self-sufficient, needing nothing that he has made; illimitable in his immensity, inconceivable in his mode of existence, and indescribable in his essence; known fully only by himself, because an infinite mind can only be fully comprehended by itself. In a word, a Being who, from his infinite wisdom, cannot err or be deceived, and from his infinite goodness, can do nothing but what is eternally just, and right, and kind" -- Adam Clarke
Thinking about God in this sense, where I try and comprehend all that he is and all that he encompasses, often makes me feel like time stops. For the time where I am deeply trying to understand his illimitable immensity and the inconceivable mode of his existence I am not here. I am transported to a place where I feel the finality of my life, the microscopic scope of who I am in comparison to the eternality of who He is. At that moment I am blessed that God has allowed my heart to beat and my lungs to breath of their own accord because I would forget to do those things when in such overwhelming contemplation. Just trying to think about who God is and all that he is makes me feel, or so it seems, every fiber of my body. I am acutely aware of who I am and acutely aware that I have no business being under God's grace. He is infinitely good and I am a sinner. He is self-existent, I was created. He acts with no foreign motives or influence, I am driven by them. He is pure and perfect, I am dirty and flawed. Yet when, in those rare moments, I am feeling God's presence all of that doesn't matter because I KNOW that God loves me, that he has forgiven me, and that he has placed me under his grace. In those moments I can forget my flaws, my foreign motives, my filth and I can BE. I can lose myself in the grandeur of his majesty and drink in his glory. And those moments, seconds even, are to me a glimpse of what heaven will be like for all eternity, and that is awesome.